marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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