But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
