No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
