Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
