One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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