U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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