Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
