I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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