So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
