Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
