People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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