Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
