Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I have tasted many bathrooms
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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