I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wear drunk well.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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