just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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