Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
