tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
