the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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