you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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