just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
pray to the hookup gods
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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