i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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