Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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