it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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