So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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