you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I smell like Dick and happiness
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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