I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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