I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
