I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
