My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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