Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
