So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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