he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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