i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
