I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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