at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
