i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he fucked my hip out of place.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
