do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize