i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I forget how to act sober
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