I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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