wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
