can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
