You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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