Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
