I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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