i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
