please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
