I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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