Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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