I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
