Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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