We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
